Why are we so afraid to fail? Isn’t it true that the some of the most valuable lessons that we have learned in our lifetimes are gained from the honest feedback and lessons that life give us when we try yet do not get what we want? A good friend of mine taught me a phrase that I have remembered for years and have passed on to friends and clients alike. That simple phrase is “maybe God is doing something FOR you and not TO you.” The difference should be obvious in that the answer lies in our perspectives. Are we grateful or are we consumed with self-pity? The unfortunate attitude that I run across as an Addictions Specialist, Life Coach, Executive Coach, Interventionist, Recovery Coach, son, significant other, father, and friend is not one that embraces or even accepts failure well. In my experience, most people tend to gravitate toward an attitude that life is somehow unfair.
I guess it all depends on your perspective, right? I prefer to look at life and situations that do not go the way I initially would like, as opportunities for something greater. Maybe something better later? Maybe this is the way things are really supposed to be? Don’t get me wrong, I am human and I get discouraged and have all the emotions that any human has from time to time. However, life is always much sweeter when I remember that I don’t know everything, and I certainly do not know how the future is supposed to unfold. When “she” didn’t want me back, when my father didn’t recover from lung cancer, when my real estate investments didn’t turn into the successes that I had hoped for, and when my personal decisions nearly cost me my life, was I a failure? In many ways, absolutely. But I have learned to embrace this so-called failure because I have changed for the better as a result of this “failure.”
I embrace failure because it teaches me valuable lessons that I would not learn if I succeeded with my plan. It is in the trying and failing that I have grown from a self-centered thirty-something boy into a man who thinks of others (hopefully more and more each day) and can be of service to them.
The real failures and tragedies occur when people succumb to their fears and do nothing. They take no action. Whether they are of the known or unknown variety is immaterial, fear does and will continue to exist in your life and mine. The question is, do we have enough faith and courage to walk through the fear and learn from the results (whether they are what we would like or not)?
My hope for you is that you can find the courage to fail today because I want you to continue to grow as a person. It is simple, we are either growing or we are dying. Its time to get growing!
Does anyone really want to have to participate in an intervention with a family member? It’s usually a very hard thing for people to do, because we feel like we will upset the person, or make them feel bad, or drive a deeper wedge between us. Or maybe we are so frustrated and resentful of the person that we don’t even want to take the time to tell them that we do care about them. Many people think interventions are full of confrontation and accusations, with everyone in the family ganged up against the one. We’ve all envisioned them in our heads before – the time to let loose and tell the person how we really feel about them, how angry they make us, and what they need to do to make it better. It doesn’t really sound like fun.
But well-planned interventions are designed to be a benefit to both the alcoholic and their family. With the help of a professional, interventions can be organized, controlled, and enlightening.
Goal
The goal of an intervention is to help the alcoholic see the effects their drinking has on others, that they have a problems with alcohol, and that treatment is necessary. It should never be done to attack the person, or get them back. Blaming a person or making them feel bad is not a way to make ourselves feel better. Family therapy is designed to help family members that feel cheated or wronged by the alcoholism – it should not be handled at the intervention.
Getting it out in the Open
An intervention should bring together the close family and friends of the person that have been impacted by the person’s drinking, or that firmly believe it is in the person’s best interest to seek treatment. The professional that is coordinating the intervention may ask everyone to write down their feelings in a letter to the person, laying out concrete examples of why they feel the way they do. These letters may be read at the intervention, or they may help prepare the family members for speaking out at the intervention.
At the intervention, family members will have the chance to say what they’ve prepared and let the person know that they care about them and are concerned. The professional will be there to moderate and make sure things continue to move along without getting too caught up in finger pointing.
The result of the intervention will hopefully be that the alcoholic agrees to get help for their disease. The family should have treatment options lined up already, so once the person agrees to it, they can quickly be admitted to a facility that will give them the help and support they need to regain sobriety.
Recently, I hit another milestone in my life. My 4-year old daughter told us that she wanted to run away because we didn’t love her and were mean to her. The precipitating event for her decision was the fact that her mother would not let her eat chocolate before bedtime. The nerve of that woman, how could a mother be so cruel!
I sat down on the couch with my daughter and helped her decide what she would need to pack; some food in case she got hungry, some warm clothes in case it got cold, some toys in case she got bored – but only a couple of her favorites because she couldn’t carry too many, and of course an umbrella in case it rained. Wow, lots of stuff! After our discussion, she decided she didn’t want to run away anymore and could suffer some chocolate deprivation.
I refer to this as a milestone in my life because I have used this example with many client parents we have had in treatment but had never experienced it firsthand. I have told many parents whose children call them to report, “the treatment center is locking them in the closet and beating them with sticks,” that situation is not unlike the little kid who wants to run away. If you let them go they get down the street and look at the great big world, it won’t be long before they hightail it home.
It is not unlike that with some of our clients; they are confronted with their pain and told that they are going to have to relinquish their coping skills and deal with it in unfamiliar ways. The whole experience is extremely painful. Their first instinct is to run but it is a well known fact that most addicts do not have the ability to sustain their addiction without some support, therefore we encourage family and friends to withdrawal any support other than supporting treatment and recovery.
I have had many clients prematurely leave our facilities, but once they found that no one would support/enable them, they quickly returned and began a meaningful treatment experience – not unlike the little kid who runs away from home.
I am somewhat making light of this but the analogy is a basic reaction. I know that absolutely nothing rivals the anguish and pain family members go through when they have to cut a loved one off in order to save the addict’s life…especially parents. It is completely against every paternal instinct and inclination. It is however, always necessary.
I am reminded of a story I once read about a missionary who was in a remote location in India and had a son born there with a clubfoot. This condition could easily have been corrected with surgery; however, there was no hospital for miles. One of the missionary doctors explained that everyday this man would have to turn and hold his son’s foot for 20 minutes. This was very painful for the little boy. The missionary spoke of how painful it was to cause such pain for his son. He spoke of how his son would scream, cry and yell, “I hate you,” while he turned the boy’s foot and how those words broke his heart. Then he spoke of the joy he felt when some years later he watched his son run across the soccer field.
The fact is, it is very easy to focus all of our attention on the addict and neglect the pain that their loved ones are suffering. We are constantly asking parents and significant others to practice behaviors that are completely unnatural to them. I don’t know what I would have done had my daughter got up and walked out the door or if I would have had the wherewithal to stand back and allow her to fully experience the consequences of that action; would I be able to sit on my hands until she decided to come back; honestly, I doubt it. I just want to say that we at TSN try to be aware of the family’s needs while we are taking care of their loved ones but I believe today I have a better understanding of what we are asking of them and I know I will be more empathetic. It is not that what we are asking them to do is wrong – it truly is the best thing they can do. That does not make it easy and we need to have patience with them. I also know that without stories like the young girl’s in the article below, I don’t think I could go on in this business. I am including it because I believe it may give some parent out there hope. This young girl came in kicking and screaming and wanted to leave after a week.
By Ann DeMatteo, Assistant Metro Editor
NORTH HAVEN
For the first time in four years, Barbara Hoffman is clean. ??
A drug user since 14, the 18-year-old is living in a halfway house in Florida after 60 days of treatment. “All my energy is back. My head is a lot clearer. I don’t need to lie, cheat or steal from my parents,” said the teenager, who estimates she stole money and goods from her parents worth $20,000 from the time she started drinking and using marijuana, cocaine, Ecstasy and prescription painkillers like OxyContin and Xanax.?
Her parents, Adam and Joanne Hoffman of North Haven, knew their daughter smoked pot, but were shocked to learn she was addicted to prescription drugs. Now that she’s in rehabilitation, they’re coming forward because they don’t want another family to suffer their pain.?Their world blew apart when they learned a week before Barbara Hoffman was to leave for college in September that she was on a downward spiral, addicted to OxyContin.?“I want to save another parent, another kid, from going through what our family has gone through,” Joanne Hoffman said. “Drugs should not be a secret. That’s how they thrive.”??Prescription pill addiction became an issue in North Haven about a year ago, when more than a dozen people were arrested for numerous burglaries, some dating back to 2006. Police said the burglaries appeared to be connected to the abuse of prescription drugs by some of the young people arrested.??
In North Haven in 2008, there were seven arrests involving illegal possession of OxyContin and 26 heroin arrests, according to Capt. James Merrithew, who runs the detective division. In 2009, police made 16 heroin arrests and 19 arrests for pills. Authorities said most users graduate from pills to heroin because it’s cheaper.??Police believe the addictions force users to take advantage of any opportunity to commit burglaries or larcenies.??The town’s Substance Abuse Prevention Council recently created and mailed a brochure to residents about the dangers of prescription painkillers. The town also plans to apply for a $125,000 federal grant that would help the town fight the problem, said Director of Community Services and Recreation Gerardo Sorkin.??
The council will continue to educate the community, and this spring hopes to have a program so residents can get rid of their unused prescription drugs. Talks also are planned for the schools.??“We’re very concerned that kids don’t understand how serious addiction to prescription drugs can be,” said Superintendent of Schools Sara-Jane R. Querfeld, a council member. “We’re not seeing any evidence of it at the high school but that doesn’t mean they’re not doing it.”??FROM A GOOD HOME??North Haven parents have been reaching out to Parents 4 a Change, a Southington organization run by Mary Marcuccio, a woman credited with saving the lives of numerous young people, including Barbara Hoffman.??“It’s sad, but the good thing is families are getting help,” said a North Haven mother whose daughter is no longer addicted to OxyContin. She and her daughter continue to be active with Parents 4 a Change.??Parents 4 a Change instructs parents to create an unfriendly environment for their children if they suspect drug use. Parents need to know their children’s friends and need to know where their money is going. Parents in the group said their kids have taken money from their bank accounts or have stolen items from their homes to buy drugs.??
The mother said the parents involved in Parents 4 a Change are caring people who were close to their children and made extraordinary efforts to help them once an addiction became known.??Take the Hoffmans, for example. Married for 25 years, Adam Hoffman owns Godfrey-Hoffman Associates, an engineering and surveying firm. Joanne Hoffman is a nutritionist who runs her business in her husband’s building on Broadway. Joanne Hoffman was a room mother when her daughter was in elementary school. She belonged to the PTA, she was a Girl Scout leader, and Adam Hoffman never missed a soccer game.??“I never thought my kid would be involved” with drugs, said Joanne Hoffman.??“The Hoffmans are a good example of parents who are willing to educate themselves and take productive steps to help their child,” said Marcuccio, whose monthly meetings at Derynoski Middle School in Southington now draw 80 people. “Parents are coming out of the closet.”??
Barbara Hoffman, 18, graduated from North Haven High School in June. She earned almost straight A’s, took Advanced Placement psychology, was a CAPT scholar, a varsity soccer player for four years and was in the Latin Club. She was planning to major in business.??But a week before she was to leave for Bryant University in Rhode Island, her parents found out she had an OxyContin problem. They had been aware, previously, that she smoked pot, and asked her to stop.??Barbara Hoffman said that starting at 14, she smoked pot about five times a day, every day. It wasn’t that hard to get. Drinking was more of a weekend thing, when friends would steal liquor from their parents’ homes or liquor stores would sell to underage youths.??
Barbara Hoffman said her parents didn’t know what she was doing, but some kids had parents who didn’t care that they drank.??When she was 16, she started to experiment with other drugs, OxyContin being the first. She was addicted immediately. Drug-addiction experts and many medical studies, including at Yale University, have linked addiction to genetics. In other words, some people may be genetically hard-wired to become addicts.??“We were just bored. We thought it would be fun. We thought it would be a good idea,” she said of the people she used to hang out with. She tried cocaine a couple of times and didn’t like it, but she liked Ecstasy. When her friends stopped doing it, she continued. When her parents saw the pills, she convinced them they didn’t belong to her.??“I’m a good talker,” she said.??
Her parents forbade her to smoke pot, and they started testing her for drugs. So, she stopped smoking and picked up OxyContin, which the tests didn’t pick up.??“During this time, I was breaking up with my boyfriend of three years. I started doing Oxys every day,” going from a few 40-milligram pills to 10 80-milligram pills a day.??She had a job so she had her own money.??“I stole from my parents a lot. … I pawned all my gold, my parents’ gold. At the time I didn’t think it was a big deal because it seemed like everyone was doing it. Now I feel terrible. They worked hard for that stuff and I just took it and sold it like it was mine. I can’t even go by a pawn shop any more,” she said.??INTERVENTION??The moment of truth was Aug. 27, 2009.??“We confronted her with it. … Her new boyfriend, from Hamden, was the dealer,” Adam Hoffman said.??“It was right out of a movie. She acted like a caged animal and said she wasn’t an addict. It was horrifying,” Joanne Hoffman said.??During the confrontation, they had Marcuccio on the phone and she told them what to say.??“Without Mary, the kid would be dead,” Adam Hoffman said.??She was taken to the Stonington Institute, but ran away three times and came back home, saying she could get clean on her own. She then received outpatient services at the University of Connecticut Medical Center and received a shot of Naltrexone, an opiate blocker. She was going to Narcotics Anonymous meetings.??Barbara Hoffman said she hit rock bottom on the night of Oct. 30, when she totaled her car on Interstate 91 after snorting crushed Xanax pills. She was arrested.??
Her parents gave her an ultimatum: out-of-state rehab or be kicked out of the house.??On Nov. 3, she was flown to Treatment Solutions of South Florida on the recommendation of Parents 4 a Change.??“She can probably never live in North Haven again because of the sights, sounds and smells. Everyone she knows does anything from drink to use heroin. She can’t handle it,” Joanne Hoffman said.??Adam and Joanne Hoffman attended three “intensive days” of instruction about pharmacology, drug addiction and its causes through the Treatment Solutions Network. They’ll have to attend Nar-Anon, which helps parents of addicts.??They believe that their daughter took drugs to feel better.??“She tried it and had no reason to stop. It made her feel good,” Joanne Hoffman said.??Michael Blackburn from Treatment Solutions Network says there’s a need for what his group does.??
Barbara Hoffman had 60 days of inpatient treatment before being transferred to the halfway house, where she lives with five other young women. “She’s doing well,” Blackburn said.??“This rehab is like no other. They call you on your (expletive). It was good, honest. It’s the first time I’ve been to rehab where I actually want to be clean,” she said.??Being in an area in which a recovering addict is unfamiliar helps because the person doesn’t have access to dealers. It challenges the person to get well on his or her own. “The program teaches life and living skills,” Blackburn said.??“She’s seeking a job with the support of Treatment Solutions,” Joanne Hoffman said. “She’ll start college in the fall, knock on wood.”?
If you are in love with someone who is struggling with an addiction we have many resources listed on our website www.treatmentsolutionsnetwork.com/families
Jim Bevell
CEO Treatment Solutions Network
561 577-3174
jimb@tsnemail.com
When is the most difficult time in the process of addiction treatment?This is a very subjective question and depending on whom you ask and their personal or clinical experience, you may find different answers. Certainly, if a person never gets to a treatment facility that is properly geared to treat their disease, then the chances for successful recovery from addiction are likely very poor.
However, if an addicted individual is placed at a proper chemical dependency treatment program there are many factors that affect their abstinence rates, and the quality of their lives, one year after entering the treatment facility. There are a lot of people and companies in the treatment profession that represent success rates, but the key questions to ask are: Who determined their success rates? Were they independently validated? Find out if this was an actual scientific study or did the numbers just get massaged to help in marketing efforts.
While there is much debate about the aforementioned question, there is little debate about the positive correlation between longer treatment and more efficacious recovery results. Lengthy treatment stays, however, do not always translate to healthy coping skills. Witnessing this firsthand for years, I have seen individuals thrive in the treatment setting – even if it is for 90 days or more – but when they return home disaster strikes. Difficulties may stem from re-acclimation to home, work, or social life, finding ways to fill free time, embracing a new healthy lifestyle, applying the treatment principles in the “real world,” or any number of individualized challenges. A unique complement (not an alternative) to combating these difficulties that may arise in today’s typical treatment protocol can be found with a long-term recovery coaching model.
To smooth such pitfalls, I developed a comprehensive program for my clients to establish a coaching relationship throughout and beyond the first year of recovery. Often that relationship starts prior to an intervention, and includes contact with the coach during treatment (with the coach present for the critical transition of discharge from treatment), and adhering to a holistic recovery coaching protocol for a minimum of 52 weeks post-discharge. This creates a lifestyle change in the addicted person to help them embrace and succeed in a recovery that goes well beyond abstinence. A change that encompasses mind, body and spirit is necessary, and importantly, one that makes sense for that individual’s lifestyle is critical for the effects to last. For example, at LifeSkills Authorities we have programs specifically geared toward executives and attorneys that take the nuances of their high-stress corporate lifestyles into consideration. This unique approach is developing a national following in a short period of time because of the thoroughness of working with clients to manage all touchpoints of early recovery.
If you have fallen prey to the difficulties of recovery and want help for yourself or if a loved one is struggling in recovery, I encourage you to consider a new approach. Visit our website (http://www.lifeskillsauthorities.com/) and really spend the time to find out what the LSA philosophy and programs are all about.
Many cities have been brought down by crimes associated with drugs and drug dealing. Some communities have given up and law enforcement finds itself fighting a losing battle with the drug market. An unlikely solution is making its way across the country, bringing with it both more peaceful neighborhoods, and an end to the conflict between neighbors and drug dealers.
High Point Intervention
High Point Intervention was first created to address drug-laden areas of High Point, North Carolina. Led by Chief James Fealy in 2003, the new strategy did more than simply arrest drug dealers and put them in prison. While we want to get drug dealers off the street; simply holding them in prison and then releasing them to the public to do the same thing in the same neighborhoods, is not a good solution. But by taking control of the drug market and helping give these criminals the chance for real reform, cities are able to heal and move forward.
High Point Intervention starts with creating a bond between law enforcement and members of the community that are willing to help the neighborhood turn around. Violent drug dealers are identified and arrested, but non-violent drug dealers are given a second chance. Not just let go, but rather, given the support and help needed to start a new life apart from drugs. In order to do this, all resources must be put in place, including all the evidence for a criminal case against the individual, as well as help to get out of the drug scene. The offenders are brought into a room full of law enforcement, individuals from the community, and ex-offenders. The situation is explained to them that there is a case built against them, and they are one step away from being locked up, but that they are being given one final chance. If the person agrees to give up the drug dealing by making use of the support of social services and others in the community, the case against them will be put on hold. But at the first slip up, they will be put in prison.
Helping People Succeed
This method has been effective in High Point, as well as 25 other cities across the country that followed the same approach. The fact that these people are on their way to prison and given a second chance is really a powerful tool in motivating them to clean up their lives. But it is important for services to be coordinated beforehand so that the individuals has a way to earn an income, can get help with their own drug and emotional problems, and feel like they will be able to become a contributing member of society. Without the extra help, support, and follow through, this program would simply trick someone into behaving for a while before going right back to what they were doing.
There are concerns about this program because of the fact that it lets non-violent drug dealers back on the street. But High Point Intervention has had success in each city where it has been used, and these communities now work together to keep these ex-drug dealers on the right track.
In our never ending efforts to support those in recovery and those who have not yet found the blessing of recovery Treatment Solutions Network is proud to support A&E’s Recovery Project. Please get involved in any way that you can, or repost this article on your website, in an email or any way that you can help us get the word out of this worthy project!
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For the past six seasons, A&E has produced the Emmy®-nominated series Intervention. Viewer response has been extraordinary and the network has witnessed first-hand both the impact of addiction and the possibility for recovery. Inspired by our work on the series and in the community, A&E created The Recovery Project to raise awareness that addiction is a treatable disease and recovery is possible.
Mission
The Recovery Project was created to raise national awareness that addiction is a treatable disease and recovery is possible by supporting leading organizations in prevention and treatment.
And, we’ve created ways for YOU to get involved and show your support!
Background
For the past five seasons, A&E has produced the Emmy-nominated series Intervention. Viewer response has been extraordinary and the network has witnessed first-hand both the impact of addiction and the possibility for recovery. Inspired by our work on the series and in the community, A&E created The Recovery Project to raise awareness that addiction is a treatable disease and recovery is possible.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTS (PSAs): Our PSAs featuring well-known celebrities, like Whoopi Goldberg, Benjamin Bratt, Russell Simmons, and Christopher Lawford help raise awareness about addiction and spread the message that recovery is possible and treatment works.
GET INVOLVED: The Recovery Project supports leading national non-profit organizations that are raising awareness about addiction, promoting public education, and providing quality addiction treatment and recovery services. We encourage you to get involved.
PREVENTION RESOURCES: In collaboration with The Partnership for A Drug-Free America, A&E supports prevention efforts locally by co-sponsoring Time To Talk™, an online community, resource and toolkit to help parents connect with their kids.
Anyone who isn’t familiar with Diane Schuler at this point is either trying to avoid current events or is as oblivious as her husband. To bring everyone up to speed, Diane Schuler is the 36 year-old business executive who at 1:30 PM on July 26th 2009, drove 1.7 miles in the wrong direction on a curvy highway before slamming into an S.U.V., killing its three passengers, as well as herself, her 2-year-old daughter and her three young nieces. She had a blood-alcohol level of more than twice the legal limit and tested overwhelmingly positive for Marijuana. Her husband, Daniel Schuler, is a security guard paid to be a professional observer, however, he is publicly stating that he has never seen his wife drunk.
While this situation is beyond horrific, it has all the elements that makeup a perfect alcoholic tragedy. It has been said on the record that Diane Schuler had over 15 ounces of undigested vodka in her system, a vodka bottle in the car, a head full of marijuana and behavioral issues, and a minivan filled with kids…that alone is a recipe for disaster. Throw in a husband who is either one of the most profound enablers of all time or the denial world champion and early death is no longer a recipe, it is a certainty.
Mr. Schuler is being skewered by the media as practically an accessory to murder – that won’t ever change. He was charged with a DUI in 1995 so the thought that one alcoholic could live with another alcoholic capable of consuming the volume of Vodka Diane Schuler did before she drove with innocent children, is pretty far-fetched. Regardless, if Mr. Schuler was aware of her consumption and let her get behind the wheel of a car that would destroy countless lives, then he is indeed an accomplice. I know there are people who will read this and say: how can you say Mr. Schuler was an alcoholic based on one DUI? Let me explain something to anyone still deluding themselves with the notion that he might not be, if you are an adult who has consumed enough alcohol to impair your judgment to the point where you think driving is ok…you better hit a meeting.
The point of sharing this story with all of you is not what you might think. Sure, it is a cautionary tale about the dangers of alcoholism and the enablers that help it incubate, but this is something far more eye-opening, this is one of the purest examples of how poorly equipped people are with the knowledge necessary to recognize and alter a potentially disastrous situation. This is a story about accountability and I’m afraid that number of people that allowed this tragedy to unfold is pretty far reaching. Is her husband still fostering his own disease and chose to look the other way? Did her employer or coworkers know she had a problem and not intervene? Is there nobody in this woman’s life that who saw what she was and where she was heading? The fact is, people have a responsibility to report and they need to be educated and empowered with the tools to do so properly. This isn’t snitching, this is saving lives and more often than not, they are the lives of the innocent.
If a fraction of the money spent on imprisoning non-violent, drug and alcohol related convicts, we could establish a system of checks and balances that arms citizens with the tools necessary to report questionable behavior and prevent tragedy. Reward them for their insight and save lives. Beyond employer involvement, which is getting better, let’s introduce an anonymous reporting system that is well defined and implemented at the student level. Preemptive measures need to be taken, and quickly. If one person had stepped up and reported Mrs. Schuler’s behavior, there would be 8 fewer caskets in the ground today.
It’s time to stop thinking after the fact. I think the saying goes…”an ounce of prevention is better than fifteen ounces of undigested alcohol in a dead woman’s stomach”.
Most of us can identify at least one person in our life that we care about that suffers from alcoholism. Many of us even live with or see an alcoholic on a daily basis. If you’ve identified someone close to you as having an alcohol abuse problem, read on to learn some tips to getting that person into effective alcohol rehabilitation.
You can’t force an alcoholic into treatment. They have to be physically willing to go, and the best treatment results come when a person has the determination themselves to get help and become sober. However, it may take the help and encouragement from a family member or friend to make them willing to enter treatment.
Timing
A good time to confront someone about alcohol abuse is right after they’ve messed up. Maybe they got a DUI or domestic violence charge, or maybe they’ve just embarrassed themselves in front of friends or co-workers. When a person is confronted by the consequences of their actions, they will be the most willing to try to end the addiction.
Another good time to confront an alcoholic is when there is something in the near future for them to look forward to. There are stories of out of control alcoholics that quit cold-turkey when they heard they had a grandchild on the way. Or a person may be motivated to become sober if they have a dying parent or grandparent and they want to show that person that they could beat their addiction.
Be Firm
The best approach is to confront the person when you have time to talk alone. Be firm, but compassionate. Let the alcoholic know you aren’t going to cover for them anymore to hide their secret. Then, be willing to let them fall and suffer the consequences of their alcohol abuse, if necessary.
Be Helpful
It is also important to let the person know you care, and that is why you are doing what you are doing. Do some research on treatment facilities and have a basic plan that they can follow, if they want. One of the hardest things is actually getting the person into treatment once they’ve admitted a problem. They may agree with you and apologize and say they’ll change, but the task of finding a facility and setting up an appointment can sometimes prove to be too much. Have phone numbers ready to call as soon as your loved one agrees to it.
Last Resort
It’s not always going to go smoothly, and be prepared for that. If your loved one refuses to admit a problem or get help, be ready to take another friend or family member along to talk to them. Family interventions are effective as a last resort, but consult a professional first to help with this step.
There are too many alcoholics in the world today, and too many of us are enabling them to continue in their addiction. It’s time for all of us to evaluate our lives and do something to help those suffering from alcoholism.
Alcoholics today are more discreet than ever, and many of them are able to hold down even high-profile jobs, while being dependent upon alcohol. Alcoholics today aren’t always the homeless, jobless, drunks on the street corner. They can be successful businessmen, mothers, doctors, or teachers. The reason people are able to hide alcoholism so well is that many have family, friends, and coworkers that are willing to look the other way and not confront or report the problem.
Alcoholism at Work
Alcoholism in the workplace is a growing problem. Sometimes it is the boss that has the drinking problem and everyone is too afraid to say anything. Or it may be an employee that sneaks a drink at work, or over lunch, and the other workers feel that it is none of their business to say something. This is wrong for a number of reasons: People can fall into alcohol abuse and alcoholism for a variety of reasons and coworkers should care enough about others to not allow this to continue. Employees should also care enough about their business to speak up about alcoholism. There are ways to go about reporting an alcohol problem at work, while allowing the alcoholic to get help for their disease.
Many times it takes a humiliating experience or an accident to finally make someone face their alcoholism. But it shouldn’t have to come to that point. Why should we have to wait until the person messes up and comes to work all tipsy and finds themselves on the floor in front of clients before we offer that alcoholic help? And do any of us really want to be out on the same road as someone that has had too many drinks, or be operated on by a surgeon that has had a drink prior to surgery or is battling a hangover?
Help for alcoholics from loved ones
It is true that confronting an alcoholic, whether at home or at work, can be very difficult. But it usually takes the help of a loved one to get that person into treatment, and there are some ways to go about it to make it more successful.
First of all, we need to stop rescuing the alcoholic in our life. We shouldn’t make any more excuses for their actions or rescue them in other ways from alcohol-related consequences. Secondly, talk to the person. Be honest and fair. Tell them what you’ve seen or know about the problem, and express your concern for their well-being. Then, be ready to help. You can call a hotline to get them help, or call an alcohol rehab center for them.
With all the dangers from violence and alcohol-related accidents we aren’t doing anyone any favors by keeping quiet about alcoholism. The sooner an alcoholic gets help for the problem, the better for all of us.
If you or someone you love is considering treatment for a drug or alcohol addiction, there are many decisions you may need to make in order to find the right facility. Below are some things to consider when choosing a facility, as well as things to expect once you get there.
First of all, it might be necessary to call a hotline to get immediate help for an addiction. This would be used when a person doesn’t know where else to go for help, or possibly someone is in immediate danger. If this is the case, the individual on the other end of the phone can give you valuable information about immediate treatment options.
Types of Facilities and Programs
If the decision is something that is thought about for a while and discussed, there are many different types of programs that might be useful. The first questions might be whether the facility offers residential, in-patient, or out-patient treatment, or a recovery house or long-term care. Some facilities are gender or age-specific, which might be particularly helpful to adolescents or females who might feel more comfortable in a setting with their peers.
It may be necessary for the treatment facility to have a detoxification program for the individual to rid their body of harmful substances while being monitored by a staff of medical professionals. After the physical dependency of the substance is addressed, the patient can begin counseling and treatment to manage the psychological dependency. Many treatment facilities have different activities to aid in this part of the recovery process. Things such as group therapy and family involvement have proven successful in treatment, as well as the 12-Steps for recovery. Some specialized facilities also provide programs such as equine therapy, recreational activities, cooking opportunities, and other things geared toward giving the mind and body something positive to focus on.
Recovery is an Ongoing Process
It is important for patients to be directed to long-term care to assist them in staying sober in the future. By learning about the risks of relapse and the skills needed to cope with stress and addiction triggers, an individual will be more likely to stay substance-free. A facility should provide follow-up services to give the recovering patient a support base when they move back into their lives. Recovery is an ongoing process. The groundwork is laid when an individual goes through treatment, but recovery continues on as the person is put back into their lives and families and has to effectively put what they learned into practice.
Entering into a treatment facility is a scary thing for most people. The unknown is hard to face. But the right facility can ease discomfort with their caring staff and positive programs. It still won’t be easy, but the goal is for the treatment to be successful. By working with counselors and staff to learn about oneself and taking accountability for the addiction, an individual can actually aid in the recovery process. So while you can expect treatment to be a challenge, it will hopefully be the best thing you’ve ever done.
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Many cities have been brought down by crimes associated with drugs and drug dealing. Some communities have given up and law enforcement finds itself fighting a losing battle with the drug market. An unlikely solution is making its way across the country, bringing with it both more peaceful neighborhoods, and an end to the conflict between neighbors and drug dealers.
Anyone who isn’t familiar with Diane Schuler at this point is either trying to avoid current events or is as oblivious as her husband. To bring everyone up to speed, Diane Schuler is the 36 year-old business executive who at 1:30 PM on July 26th 2009, drove 1.7 miles in the wrong direction on a curvy highway before slamming into an S.U.V., killing its three passengers, as well as herself, her 2-year-old daughter and her three young nieces. She had a blood-alcohol level of more than twice the legal limit and tested overwhelmingly positive for Marijuana. Her husband, Daniel Schuler, is a security guard paid to be a professional observer, however, he is publicly stating that he has never seen his wife drunk.
Most of us can identify at least one person in our life that we care about that suffers from alcoholism. Many of us even live with or see an alcoholic on a daily basis. If you’ve identified someone close to you as having an alcohol abuse problem, read on to learn some tips to getting that person into effective 
If you or someone you love is considering treatment for a drug or alcohol addiction, there are many decisions you may need to make in order to find the right facility. Below are some things to consider when choosing a facility, as well as things to expect once you get there.