The 15th annual survey by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) is complete and the reports are in. The study, which consists of phone and internet surveys of teens and their parents, has recorded trends among students for the past decade and a half. This year’s survey has some disturbing results, but also provides useful information about prevention.

Drugs and Gangs

The CASA study first of all calculated the percent of drug-infested schools among its subjects. These were defined as schools where “drugs are used, kept, or sold on school grounds”. It was found that 32% of middle schoolers believe they attend drug infested schools. Two thirds of high schools had drug activity. The study also looked at gangs at schools, and concluded that 46% of public school reported the presence of gangs, and that schools with gangs were more likely to also have drugs.

We may have a great deal of confidence in our kids, but the CASA study showed the danger of kids attending schools that had gangs or drugs. Teens are 5 times more likely to use marijuana, 3 times more likely to drink, and 12 times more likely to smoke, when they attend a drug-laden school. They also found that drug and alcohol use in middle or high school often means substance abuse or addiction as an adult. However, for those that avoid the temptation and peer pressure to experiment with drugs or alcohol, there is good news. Those that make it to age 21 without using drugs or alcohol are likely to never start.

Public vs. Private Schools

Studies like the CASA one can be depressing and cause us to lose hope for our nation’s children and their futures. But some of the results of the survey clearly show ways we can slow the drug epidemic among young people. First of all, there are many schools, including private schools, that don’t have the presence of drugs or gangs. Students at these schools are much less likely to get involved with drugs. 78% of students in private or religious schools said there were no drugs at their school.

Parental Involvement for Prevention

The single most important factor, however, affecting whether or not a student will use drugs, is parental involvement. Parents may not always realize it, but they hold the key when it comes to keeping their child drug-free. Teens with weak family ties are 4 times more likely to try tobacco or marijuana as those with a strong family. Spending quality time together and eating meals together are great ways to build the relationships among the family members. Parents’ attitude toward drinking or drugs also has a big impact, and teens need to know that drinking and drugs are not acceptable.

We need to educate both young people and their parents about the dangers of drugs. Parents need tools to help them talk to their kids and learn how to give their teen the best chance at staying clean. Parents can choose a positive environment for their teen to learn, and can get to know their child’s friends. By keeping tabs on what their children are doing, and building a good relationship with them, parents can help their children remain drug-free.  

Sources

Partnership for a Drug Free America Comments on CASA Survey

Drugs, Gangs on the Rise in Schools

Young Teens Becoming More Exposed to Illicit Drugs, According to National Survey 

Alcoholism has so many negative consequences for everyone that comes in contact with it, that it has ruined many people’s lives. Alcoholics themselves suffer from health problems such as liver disease and mental health issues. Loss of job, friends, and family create an emotional strain on the alcoholic. Financial problems may also be present.

Alcoholism also has profound effect on the family of the alcoholic, particularly the children. These little victims often go unnoticed or dismissed because they are young and “should be able to bounce back”. But studies show that the effects of a parent that is an alcoholic are often long-lasting, affecting even the adult life of the child.

Consequences for Children of Alcoholics

Depending on the age of the child of an alcoholic, there may be different problems that occur. Younger children may become confused about their home life and the role their parents and older siblings begin to assume in the family. Often, these kids are fearful, untrusting, and unable to emotionally connect with others, even into adulthood. If the child of an alcoholic is older, they may experience low self-esteem, depression, fear, and guilt that they are to blame. These older children may keep to themselves, or they may lash out and get into trouble at school. It is common for children of alcoholics to have problems in school, because of lack of motivation, difficulty relating to friends or teachers, and truancy. The stress at home causes kids to have difficulty concentrating and performing well in school.

Even with all the information that clearly shows the negative effects of alcoholism on children, some people still think their actions as an alcoholic have little impact on the lives of others. How many times haven’t we heard; “It’s my life, I can do what I want. I’m not hurting anyone else”? But lots of people do suffer, and children of alcoholics have to endure a particularly unstable childhood.

Physical and Emotional Abuse

The physical abuse that occurs in some alcoholic homes is the most obvious way many children of suffer, but it is not the only way. Emotional abuse and neglect are also very traumatic. So is living in fear, not having a parent they can rely on, or having to lie to cover up for a parent’s mistakes. These experiences all change who a person is, and it is not fair to the children in a family to allow alcoholism to continue.

This is such a far-reaching problem that there are many support groups for children of alcoholics or grown children of alcoholics. Anyone that has been adversely affected by a parent’s alcoholism should make use of these groups to help with healing.

It is important for anyone struggling with alcoholism to get help, but especially those that have children. These kids can still have a chance at a healthy life if they are given a more normal upbringing. Having a parent that they can depend on helps children grow up to be happy and healthy adults.

Sources

Alcoholism and Its Effect on the Family 

Childhood adversity can shorten lifespan

ChildLine Receives Number of Calls from Kids Reporting Parents’ Drinking Habits

’100 children a week’ call ChildLine about parents’ drink and drug abuse

Interventions used to always be very secretive, with the alcoholic being caught off guard by their well-meaning family. Newer practices, however, include enlisting the input of the alcoholic and making them a part of the intervention process.

The Importance of an Intervention

Interventions are sensitive procedures, and most people avoid them whenever possible. But there are times when interventions are necessary and they become the tool needed to get a loved one to accept help for an addiction. Because an intervention can be a family’s last resort, it is important that it is done correctly. Always get the help of a trained professional to ensure the proper steps are taken before, during, and after an intervention.

Benefits of a Systemic Family Intervention

It might not be what we would expect, but it is often in the alcoholic’s best interest to let them know you are organizing an intervention, and invite them to come and hear what people have to say to them. This newer type of intervention is called a Systemic Family Intervention, and it helps avoid embarrassment and shame on the part of the alcoholic. An alcoholic that is surprised by an intervention may feel pressured to go along with the family and tell them what they want to hear. In these cases, the family will think they’ve gotten through, but the alcoholic may have no intention of entering treatment and my go right back to their ways.

A surprise intervention can also cause the alcoholic to feel they don’t have any control in the situation, and that can be scary. We all like to have a say in what happens to us, and to suddenly hear from others what our problem is and how we need to fix it can be intimidating and cause us to resist.

An open family intervention allows loved ones to approach the alcoholic first and let them know they are concerned. The professional interventionist can help with all the communication to help the alcoholic see the importance of meeting with their family in this way. During the process of intervention, the counselor will keep the tone from becoming confrontational, so that family members can say what they need to without causing barriers to go up.

A controlled and directed intervention can help an alcoholic see the hurt their family is in, and that they need help, but also that the family cares about them and will stand together. Of course, the desired end result is that the alcoholic gets help for their addiction. This too is a process, but with the right help the entire family will be able to get the help they need to start functioning again.

Sources

Systemic Intervention Associates

Family Intervention Alcoholism

Alcohol and Drug Abuse Hurts Everyone in the Family

Al-anon

Our children are exposed to more medication today than ever before. It’s sad when kids grow up thinking that taking a pill will solve all their problems, or will help them have a good time. Some parents are too quick to give their kids medication, even to the point of overmedicating. There are many tragic stories about kids that are negatively impacted, injured, or killed because of medicating by their parents.

Medicating Unreasonably

There is an overall attitude among some groups of parents today that it is ok to give their kids pills if it makes the parents’ day easier. For example: Benadryl. This wonder drug can reduce the symptoms of allergies and colds, and stop itching from mosquito bites and poison ivy. It can also make a child fall asleep. It’s common knowledge in some circles that if you need your child to sleep on a long car ride or if they have trouble going to bed at night, a small dose of Benadryl will give them sweet sleep. No more arguing, no more hassle, no more having to yell at your kids, thanks to the little magic pill.

How unfortunate that parents have resorted to these measures! In some cases, ADHD medication is the same way. Some kids are misdiagnosed as having an attention disorder and put on meds that sedate them, when really it is a behavior problem. Parents need to be taught how to lovingly discipline their kids from the time they are young, while watching out for serious medical disorders, rather than make them pop pills to get a moment’s rest.

Any medication given to a child can have side effects: increased heart rate, seizures, coma, weight gain, stunted growth, delay in brain development. A couple in San Diego killed their baby because they gave him dose after dose of sleep aids, acid reflux medicine, and Benadryl, and sadly, they are not the only ones that have done this. Medications are not something to play around with, and we shouldn’t be too quick to reach for the pill bottle, especially when it comes to our child’s health.

Necessary Medicine

There are times, however, when medical intervention is necessary with our kids, and one of those instances is mental illness. In fact, mental illness is the one area that parents, in general, under medicate their kids. Parents, especially in inner city or low income areas, aren’t always aware that kids can suffer from depression, insomnia, anxiety, ADHD, and other mental disorders. In the case of mental illness, parents should seek out a trusted physician to diagnose and prescribe medication, if necessary. Parents should be aware of possible side effects, and closely monitor their child for any problems. A cautious approach to medicating should always be taken in the case of our children.

Children need to be taught to respect medication and only use it when necessary. It starts with parents being good role models for their kids by leading and encouraging a healthy, more natural lifestyle.

Sources

Father Accused Of Fatally Overmedicating Baby Pleads Not Guilty

How to Avoid Overmedicating your Child

Are We Overmedicating our Kids

As parents, we never want to see our children suffer, and it doesn’t change as they get older. Adult children that suffer with addiction do so because of choices they make in their lives, and it can negatively impact their whole family. A grown drug addict child can demand just as much attention and resources as a young child. Some parents feel trapped into caring for an adult child with an addiction. It’s sometimes hard to know what to do, what not to do, and how to really help.

One fifth of 18-25 year olds use illicit drugs. Many in this age group have been struggling with drugs since their teen years, which means they never really got on their feet and out on their own. This leaves the parent in a very difficult position. At age 18, 20, or 22, do you insist that your child move out and start providing for themselves?  It’s a difficult question for millions of parents, but the situation becomes much harder when an addiction is involved. How can a parent kick their adult child out of the house when they have no job, no money, and they are physically addicted to drugs?

Consequences of Leaving the Security of a Parent’s Home

Many of these young adult addicts that get sent out of the house do end up homeless, or bouncing from friend to friend, or shelter to shelter. They are in no position to provide for themselves, because their main priority is keeping up with the drugs. So they have little hope of living a real life on their own.

Consequences of Letting an Adult Child Stay

So what should parents do, let their grown children stay around and continue to do drugs? This isn’t the answer either. Parents need to set rules; things like not allowing any drugs or alcohol in the house, insisting the child get at least a part time job, and requiring them to help around the house. Parents should not bend the rules, or let their child take advantage of them, no matter how hard it is. If things get too heated and the parent no longer has control, they should be prepared to warn of consequences, and then carry them out. Show them love and concern and be willing to help them get on their feet, but when that stops working, tough love needs to take over. The last resort would be to send them packing, because without your positive influence and support, things will get miserable for them really quickly. But it is sometimes necessary.

Parents most importantly need to get help for their child. Check out possible programs or facilities and encourage your child to check themselves into treatment. Call a hotline if necessary, or call the police if you need to, but do what you can to get them the help they need.

Sources

Babysitter Smokes Pot, 3 Year Old Smokes Pot… & One-Fifth of 18-25 Year Olds Use Illicit Drugs

Living With Adult Children

Methamphetamine deaths spur relatives to fight back through support 

There are too many excuses flying around about why someone is caught with drugs or driving drunk. There are also too many people that believe the excuses.

Many high-profile stories have been told about drug or alcohol abusers that get caught or cause an accident, and family members that stand right by them, denying there is a problem. In fact, we might know someone who does this cover up scheme, and we may do it ourselves.

Family Cover-Ups

No one likes to get in trouble, and we often will make excuses to make ourselves look less irresponsible to others. It’s no wonder then that family members often have a hard time seeing the addiction of a loved one, and sometimes they are the last ones to know, and sometimes they actually help cover for the person.

The newest case that comes to mind is Lindsay Lohan, who recently was caught setting off her SCRAM alcohol-monitoring bracelet. Even though this young star was convicted of two DUI’s, failed to show up in court, and now set off a nearly foolproof device to monitor alcohol intake, she has made excuses as to why the device went off. Worse yet, her mother states that Lindsay did nothing wrong in the first place. It seems that her mother has taken on the role of covering up for an alcoholic.

Of course, this is not the only story of its kind. There was the man on the east coast whose wife caused a fatal car crash and blood tests showed she was high on drugs. The man said she didn’t do anything wrong and he was certain she wasn’t on drugs.

Getting Past the Excuses

Many of us can see this behavior in our own lives, if we look closely enough. Don’t we sometimes make excuses for a spouse that is too drunk to make it to work or to a family gathering? How many parents have blamed a teen’s erratic behavior on hormones or stress at school, because they are afraid to find out they are abusing drugs? How many of us have wondered if we should say something to a friend that we suspect is abusing prescription drugs, but choose to look the other way and not get involved?

The problem is that families and friends that believe these excuses or even make them for loved ones are causing more harm than good. Families that excuse someone’s behavior enable the person to successfully carry on in their addiction. If someone can continue to get away with acting foolishly by being high or drunk and shirking responsibilities, there isn’t much incentive to them being sober.

Do you really want to stand by your loved one? Try doing the most loving thing you can do: get them help. It’s not an easy thing to do, but for someone that has lost control to a substance addiction, a family member or friend that will stop making excuses and lead the addict to treatment is priceless. Excuses only enable. We want to empower. Find help now for those addictions that are ruining your loved one’s life.

Sources 

Mom: “Spilled” Drink Set Off Lindsay’s SCRAM Device

Mary Kennedy DUI: Get Help Before It’s Too Late!
Charges Unlikely for Husband of Wrong Way Driver

Maybe you’ve known for a while that you have an addiction to something. If you know deep down that you can’t get sober on your own, now is the time to do something about it.

An addiction can be very devastating. It can ruin lives and family relationships. Some people that are addicts are very easy to pick out, as they are the ones that can’t keep up their regular life because drugs have taken over. Other people, however, can almost elegantly balance a full life of work, family, and drugs. Both kinds of people need help, and they need help soon.

Reason for Not Wanting to Get Help: Shame

The National Institute on Drug Abuse states that 20.8 million people in our country are not getting the treatment they need for drugs or alcohol. There are many reasons why someone puts off getting help for an addiction. One of the main reasons is embarrassment over their problem, and the fact that they don’t want to let their family down. But what the addict fails to see, however, is how much a drug or alcohol problem really affects a family. Abuse, neglect, and emotional pain are all characteristics of a family with an addiction. Most families agree that they suffer much more with an addiction than they would if the person would get treatment.

Reason for Not Wanting to Get Help: Fear and Isolation

Some addicts are afraid they will feel isolated if they get help, and are unsure of what lies ahead. But someone that enters treatment does not do it alone. Relationships form between patients and staff, and support groups build lifelong bonds. Many treatment centers now realize the importance of family involvement, and family therapy is commonplace today. And treatment does not necessarily mean detox or an inpatient stay. There are many people that can recover with outpatient treatment and counseling.

Reason for Not Wanting to Get Help: Financial Burden

Another excuse that might be given for not getting help is the cost. New steps are being taken in the field of health care and insurance, so that many plans will now cover substance abuse treatment. Government programs will also cover many patients’ treatment. Even if the patient has to pay for their treatment, drugs themselves aren’t cheap. Enduring the financial burden of a drug habit or alcoholism is taxing on any family, not to mention loss of work, loss of productivity, health problems, and the toll on society.

An addiction certainly affects all those involved. It may be hard to give in and admit that a problem is too big to handle alone. But it is so important to get help. Today. Those people that put off getting help today will likely talk themselves one last day of drugs, or one more week of drinking, but these often turn into weeks, months, and years longer of the addiction. Don’t let an addiction continue to control a life any longer.

Sources

Understanding Drug Abuse and Addiction

Drugfree.org

NIDA InfoFacts: Treatment Approaches for Drug Addiction

Along with the disease of mental illness comes the sigma that someone is not stable, or is not capable of performing their job well. SAMHSA recently announced the results of a survey regarding mental illness, of people’s perception of it, and the statistics of people receiving treatment for it.

Many People Need Help

According to SAMHSA, there are an estimated 9.8 million adults over 18 that suffer from serious mental illness.  Serious mental illness is highest among 18-25 year olds, and this is also the age group that is the least likely to get treatment or counseling for their mental health issues. This could be because people in our society still don’t accept the fact that mental illness is a treatable disease. People are sometimes scared off by the thought of mental illness and even though most people know at least one family member or friend that has mental health issues, not enough is known of the illnesses or their treatment and chance for recovery. Instead, people are afraid to get help for mental health problems because they don’t want to admit they have a problem, or they are afraid of what friends and family will think, or they just don’t want to be categorized as someone that has a mental illness. A SAMHSA and Porter Novelli survey shows that only 40% of Americans believe that a person with mental illness is as successful at work, and only 33% believe that a person can eventually recover from mental illness. But in today’s world, there are effective treatments for a variety of mental illnesses, and many people can and do recover from them.

Mental Illness Awareness Campaign

In order to make a real difference for people with mental illness, SAMHSA has worked with the Ad Council to campaign for the acceptance of individuals with mental health problems. Public Service Announcements will air on television as part of this campaign that will especially encourage friends and family to step up and help a friend through recovery. The ads will create awareness about mental illness and its treatment. They also will give steps that people can take to help their friends get treatment.

Just as with anything that is misunderstood, mental illness can isolate people by causing friends and family to back away. Awareness helps bring people together. SAMHSA is working to address the societal misconceptions of mental illness, so that those in need can be encouraged to get help, instead of hiding their illness.

Sources

 SAMHSA

Survey: People uncaring to mentally ill

Ad Council

Parents may have more influence on their children than they think. In some cases this is good news, but for those parents more concerned about having a good time themselves, or those working through their own addiction or mental health issues, this can pose quite a challenge.

Exposing Kids to Drug Abuse

Take for example, the woman from the Midwest who was convicted and sentenced this week for contributing to her son’s drug overdose death. This mother used drugs herself and taught her son to do marijuana, crack cocaine, and heroin, even going so far as to inject the heroin into her son’s arm. The boy overdosed last year, and the mother will spend 8 years in prison and 10 years of extended supervision for this crime.

As disturbing as this story sounds, there are many other parents that knowingly contribute to their child’s drug use. Some of these parents don’t want to grow up themselves, so they let their kids join in on their drinking parties or drug abuse. They may feel like they are bonding with their kids, or getting them to be more open about teenage drug use. Some parents tell themselves they’d rather have their kids doing these kinds of things at home with parents watching instead of on the streets or at friends’ houses. Some parents even think that seeing their young kids on drugs is funny or entertaining.

Setting a Good Example

Parents need to avoid sending mixed messages to their kids, and need to set a good example for them. Parents should actually consider themselves the most powerful anti-drug there is for their kids. The newest studies show that teens are actually more responsive to their parent’s positive or negative influence when it comes to drugs and alcohol than they are to friends or school programs. Therefore, if a parent, even unintentionally, is sending the message to their kids that recreational drug use or drinking and driving is ok, their children will get that message loud and clear. Parents should be firm in their talks with their teens about avoiding drugs, and they should remember that kids learn the good and the bad from watching their parents’ examples.

Parenting sometimes feels like a tough enough job in general, and being such a big influence adds a lot of pressure. After all, we all mess up sometimes too, even when we would rather be the ideal example. Parents need to remember that their main job is to raise healthy, productive children. It may not seem like fun to be so straight-laced but it pays off in the long run. Put the alcohol away for a while, or quit the occasional drug use so that you can set a good example. Parents that don’t think they can do this, or that have a problem with addiction or mental illness, like the Midwestern woman, must get professional help. These parents cannot do it on their own. It is better to admit a problem and get help than cause long-term adverse effects on your kids.

Sources

Drug Rehab – Parental Influences

SAMHSA

Fatal instruction: Mom sentenced for teaching drug use to son who overdosed

Why are we so afraid to fail? Isn’t it true that the some of the most valuable lessons that we have learned in our lifetimes are gained from the honest feedback and lessons that life give us when we try yet do not get what we want? A good friend of mine taught me a phrase that I have remembered for years and have passed on to friends and clients alike. That simple phrase is “maybe God is doing something FOR you and not TO you.” The difference should be obvious in that the answer lies in our perspectives. Are we grateful or are we consumed with self-pity? The unfortunate attitude that I run across as an Addictions Specialist, Life Coach, Executive Coach, Interventionist, Recovery Coach, son, significant other, father, and friend is not one that embraces or even accepts failure well. In my experience, most people tend to gravitate toward an attitude that life is somehow unfair.

I guess it all depends on your perspective, right? I prefer to look at life and situations that do not go the way I initially would like, as opportunities for something greater. Maybe something better later? Maybe this is the way things are really supposed to be? Don’t get me wrong, I am human and I get discouraged and have all the emotions that any human has from time to time. However, life is always much sweeter when I remember that I don’t know everything, and I certainly do not know how the future is supposed to unfold. When “she” didn’t want me back, when my father didn’t recover from lung cancer, when my real estate investments didn’t turn into the successes that I had hoped for, and when my personal decisions nearly cost me my life, was I a failure? In many ways, absolutely. But I have learned to embrace this so-called failure because I have changed for the better as a result of this “failure.”

I embrace failure because it teaches me valuable lessons that I would not learn if I succeeded with my plan. It is in the trying and failing that I have grown from a self-centered thirty-something boy into a man who thinks of others (hopefully more and more each day) and can be of service to them.

The real failures and tragedies occur when people succumb to their fears and do nothing. They take no action. Whether they are of the known or unknown variety is immaterial, fear does and will continue to exist in your life and mine. The question is, do we have enough faith and courage to walk through the fear and learn from the results (whether they are what we would like or not)?

My hope for you is that you can find the courage to fail today because I want you to continue to grow as a person. It is simple, we are either growing or we are dying. Its time to get growing!

Michael Plahn
Program Director

330 West Grand Ave., #2006
Chicago, IL 60654
312.265.0909
www.lifeskillsauthorities.com