Recently, I hit another milestone in my life. My 4-year old daughter told us that she wanted to run away because we didn’t love her and were mean to her. The precipitating event for her decision was the fact that her mother would not let her eat chocolate before bedtime. The nerve of that woman, how could a mother be so cruel!

I sat down on the couch with my daughter and helped her decide what she would need to pack; some food in case she got hungry, some warm clothes in case it got cold, some toys in case she got bored – but only a couple of her favorites because she couldn’t carry too many, and of course an umbrella in case it rained. Wow, lots of stuff! After our discussion, she decided she didn’t want to run away anymore and could suffer some chocolate deprivation.

I refer to this as a milestone in my life because I have used this example with many client parents we have had in treatment but had never experienced it firsthand. I have told many parents whose children call them to report, “the treatment center is locking them in the closet and beating them with sticks,” that situation is not unlike the little kid who wants to run away. If you let them go they get down the street and look at the great big world, it won’t be long before they hightail it home.

It is not unlike that with some of our clients; they are confronted with their pain and told that they are going to have to relinquish their coping skills and deal with it in unfamiliar ways. The whole experience is extremely painful. Their first instinct is to run but it is a well known fact that most addicts do not have the ability to sustain their addiction without some support, therefore we encourage family and friends to withdrawal any support other than supporting treatment and recovery.

I have had many clients prematurely leave our facilities, but once they found that no one would support/enable them, they quickly returned and began a meaningful treatment experience – not unlike the little kid who runs away from home.

I am somewhat making light of this but the analogy is a basic reaction. I know that absolutely nothing rivals the anguish and pain family members go through when they have to cut a loved one off in order to save the addict’s life…especially parents. It is completely against every paternal instinct and inclination. It is however, always necessary.

I am reminded of a story I once read about a missionary who was in a remote location in India and had a son born there with a clubfoot. This condition could easily have been corrected with surgery; however, there was no hospital for miles. One of the missionary doctors explained that everyday this man would have to turn and hold his son’s foot for 20 minutes. This was very painful for the little boy. The missionary spoke of how painful it was to cause such pain for his son. He spoke of how his son would scream, cry and yell, “I hate you,” while he turned the boy’s foot and how those words broke his heart. Then he spoke of the joy he felt when some years later he watched his son run across the soccer field.

The fact is, it is very easy to focus all of our attention on the addict and neglect the pain that their loved ones are suffering. We are constantly asking parents and significant others to practice behaviors that are completely unnatural to them. I don’t know what I would have done had my daughter got up and walked out the door or if I would have had the wherewithal to stand back and allow her to fully experience the consequences of that action; would I be able to sit on my hands until she decided to come back; honestly, I doubt it. I just want to say that we at TSN try to be aware of the family’s needs while we are taking care of their loved ones but I believe today I have a better understanding of what we are asking of them and I know I will be more empathetic. It is not that what we are asking them to do is wrong – it truly is the best thing they can do. That does not make it easy and we need to have patience with them. I also know that without stories like the young girl’s in the article below, I don’t think I could go on in this business. I am including it because I believe it may give some parent out there hope. This young girl came in kicking and screaming and wanted to leave after a week.

By Ann DeMatteo, Assistant Metro Editor
NORTH HAVEN

For the first time in four years, Barbara Hoffman is clean. 



A drug user since 14, the 18-year-old is living in a halfway house in Florida after 60 days of treatment. “All my energy is back. My head is a lot clearer. I don’t need to lie, cheat or steal from my parents,” said the teenager, who estimates she stole money and goods from her parents worth $20,000 from the time she started drinking and using marijuana, cocaine, Ecstasy and prescription painkillers like OxyContin and Xanax.


Her parents, Adam and Joanne Hoffman of North Haven, knew their daughter smoked pot, but were shocked to learn she was addicted to prescription drugs. Now that she’s in rehabilitation, they’re coming forward because they don’t want another family to suffer their pain.
Their world blew apart when they learned a week before Barbara Hoffman was to leave for college in September that she was on a downward spiral, addicted to OxyContin.
“I want to save another parent, another kid, from going through what our family has gone through,” Joanne Hoffman said. “Drugs should not be a secret. That’s how they thrive.”

Prescription pill addiction became an issue in North Haven about a year ago, when more than a dozen people were arrested for numerous burglaries, some dating back to 2006. Police said the burglaries appeared to be connected to the abuse of prescription drugs by some of the young people arrested.



In North Haven in 2008, there were seven arrests involving illegal possession of OxyContin and 26 heroin arrests, according to Capt. James Merrithew, who runs the detective division. In 2009, police made 16 heroin arrests and 19 arrests for pills. Authorities said most users graduate from pills to heroin because it’s cheaper.

Police believe the addictions force users to take advantage of any opportunity to commit burglaries or larcenies.

The town’s Substance Abuse Prevention Council recently created and mailed a brochure to residents about the dangers of prescription painkillers. The town also plans to apply for a $125,000 federal grant that would help the town fight the problem, said Director of Community Services and Recreation Gerardo Sorkin.



The council will continue to educate the community, and this spring hopes to have a program so residents can get rid of their unused prescription drugs. Talks also are planned for the schools.

“We’re very concerned that kids don’t understand how serious addiction to prescription drugs can be,” said Superintendent of Schools Sara-Jane R. Querfeld, a council member. “We’re not seeing any evidence of it at the high school but that doesn’t mean they’re not doing it.”

FROM A GOOD HOME

North Haven parents have been reaching out to Parents 4 a Change, a Southington organization run by Mary Marcuccio, a woman credited with saving the lives of numerous young people, including Barbara Hoffman.

“It’s sad, but the good thing is families are getting help,” said a North Haven mother whose daughter is no longer addicted to OxyContin. She and her daughter continue to be active with Parents 4 a Change.

Parents 4 a Change instructs parents to create an unfriendly environment for their children if they suspect drug use. Parents need to know their children’s friends and need to know where their money is going. Parents in the group said their kids have taken money from their bank accounts or have stolen items from their homes to buy drugs.



The mother said the parents involved in Parents 4 a Change are caring people who were close to their children and made extraordinary efforts to help them once an addiction became known.

Take the Hoffmans, for example. Married for 25 years, Adam Hoffman owns Godfrey-Hoffman Associates, an engineering and surveying firm. Joanne Hoffman is a nutritionist who runs her business in her husband’s building on Broadway. Joanne Hoffman was a room mother when her daughter was in elementary school. She belonged to the PTA, she was a Girl Scout leader, and Adam Hoffman never missed a soccer game.

“I never thought my kid would be involved” with drugs, said Joanne Hoffman.

“The Hoffmans are a good example of parents who are willing to educate themselves and take productive steps to help their child,” said Marcuccio, whose monthly meetings at Derynoski Middle School in Southington now draw 80 people. “Parents are coming out of the closet.”



Barbara Hoffman, 18, graduated from North Haven High School in June. She earned almost straight A’s, took Advanced Placement psychology, was a CAPT scholar, a varsity soccer player for four years and was in the Latin Club. She was planning to major in business.

But a week before she was to leave for Bryant University in Rhode Island, her parents found out she had an OxyContin problem. They had been aware, previously, that she smoked pot, and asked her to stop.

Barbara Hoffman said that starting at 14, she smoked pot about five times a day, every day. It wasn’t that hard to get. Drinking was more of a weekend thing, when friends would steal liquor from their parents’ homes or liquor stores would sell to underage youths.



Barbara Hoffman said her parents didn’t know what she was doing, but some kids had parents who didn’t care that they drank.

When she was 16, she started to experiment with other drugs, OxyContin being the first. She was addicted immediately. Drug-addiction experts and many medical studies, including at Yale University, have linked addiction to genetics. In other words, some people may be genetically hard-wired to become addicts.

“We were just bored. We thought it would be fun. We thought it would be a good idea,” she said of the people she used to hang out with. She tried cocaine a couple of times and didn’t like it, but she liked Ecstasy. When her friends stopped doing it, she continued. When her parents saw the pills, she convinced them they didn’t belong to her.

“I’m a good talker,” she said.



Her parents forbade her to smoke pot, and they started testing her for drugs. So, she stopped smoking and picked up OxyContin, which the tests didn’t pick up.

“During this time, I was breaking up with my boyfriend of three years. I started doing Oxys every day,” going from a few 40-milligram pills to 10 80-milligram pills a day.

She had a job so she had her own money.

“I stole from my parents a lot. … I pawned all my gold, my parents’ gold. At the time I didn’t think it was a big deal because it seemed like everyone was doing it. Now I feel terrible. They worked hard for that stuff and I just took it and sold it like it was mine. I can’t even go by a pawn shop any more,” she said.

INTERVENTION

The moment of truth was Aug. 27, 2009.

“We confronted her with it. … Her new boyfriend, from Hamden, was the dealer,” Adam Hoffman said.

“It was right out of a movie. She acted like a caged animal and said she wasn’t an addict. It was horrifying,” Joanne Hoffman said.

During the confrontation, they had Marcuccio on the phone and she told them what to say.

“Without Mary, the kid would be dead,” Adam Hoffman said.

She was taken to the Stonington Institute, but ran away three times and came back home, saying she could get clean on her own. She then received outpatient services at the University of Connecticut Medical Center and received a shot of Naltrexone, an opiate blocker. She was going to Narcotics Anonymous meetings.

Barbara Hoffman said she hit rock bottom on the night of Oct. 30, when she totaled her car on Interstate 91 after snorting crushed Xanax pills. She was arrested.



Her parents gave her an ultimatum: out-of-state rehab or be kicked out of the house.

On Nov. 3, she was flown to Treatment Solutions of South Florida on the recommendation of Parents 4 a Change.

“She can probably never live in North Haven again because of the sights, sounds and smells. Everyone she knows does anything from drink to use heroin. She can’t handle it,” Joanne Hoffman said.

Adam and Joanne Hoffman attended three “intensive days” of instruction about pharmacology, drug addiction and its causes through the Treatment Solutions Network. They’ll have to attend Nar-Anon, which helps parents of addicts.

They believe that their daughter took drugs to feel better.

“She tried it and had no reason to stop. It made her feel good,” Joanne Hoffman said.

Michael Blackburn from Treatment Solutions Network says there’s a need for what his group does.



Barbara Hoffman had 60 days of inpatient treatment before being transferred to the halfway house, where she lives with five other young women. “She’s doing well,” Blackburn said.

“This rehab is like no other. They call you on your (expletive). It was good, honest. It’s the first time I’ve been to rehab where I actually want to be clean,” she said.

Being in an area in which a recovering addict is unfamiliar helps because the person doesn’t have access to dealers. It challenges the person to get well on his or her own. “The program teaches life and living skills,” Blackburn said.

“She’s seeking a job with the support of Treatment Solutions,” Joanne Hoffman said. “She’ll start college in the fall, knock on wood.”


If you are in love with someone who is struggling with an addiction we have many resources listed on our website www.treatmentsolutionsnetwork.com/families

Jim Bevell
CEO Treatment Solutions Network
561 577-3174
jimb@tsnemail.com

Many people that watch loved ones go through substance abuse feel helpless. They may see the damage that is caused in their lives, and possibly the person is committing physical harm to themselves or to others. The big step comes when a loved one confronts the addicted person about getting help for their problem. Sometimes the talk or intervention will bring the person to their senses and they will voluntarily enter treatment for the substance abuse.

But the feelings of devastation come right back when the confronted individual refuses to seek treatment. It is at these times that families can be thankful for something called the Marchman Act. While it is present in a number of states in some form or another, Florida is said to have the most progressive process.

Involuntary Drug Treatment

The Marchman Act Florida is a law that allows family members, law enforcement, and others to provide immediate assessment and treatment for loved ones that caught up in substance abuse and that refuse treatment. In order to set the Marchman Act in motion, a family member, private practitioner, law enforcement officer, or any three adults that believe the person needs help can file a petition with the Mental Health Division of the local courthouse. In order to be forcibly brought into these proceedings, the individual must have lost control because of substance abuse and either has or will likely inflict harm on themselves or others, isn’t able to see treatment is necessary, or has refused voluntary care. At this time, the subject would be taken and held for up to five days. They have no choice and are not able to refuse this care. During this time the person is assessed and stabilized, and a treatment plan is recommended. A judge will then determine the length and kind of treatment that is ordered, based on that recommendation. If the person resists or leaves treatment, there are consequences, but the goal in all of this is to provide care for someone that otherwise would not enter treatment on their own.

Civil Court

The Marchman Act is a confidential process and it takes place in the civil courts. Therefore, implementing the Marchman Act upon someone will not result in the drug abuse or possession going on their criminal record. The goal is to provide treatment, not punishment.

Many families have found help in the Marchman Act. These families may have had no other place to turn, and because of this Act, they were able to get help for their loved one. There is usually no fee to initiate the Marchman Act, but cost of treatment applies. Many families find it useful to hire a lawyer to help them through the process. While the process may still be difficult at times, many loved ones have achieved their desired goal of getting help and protection for someone they care about that has succumbed to substance abuse.

Sources

http://www.treatmentsolutionsnetwork.com/marchman-act.html

http://www.clerk.co.okeechobee.fl.us/Marchman_act.htm

http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/mentalhealth/marchman/index.shtml

http://www.marchmanactblog.com/2009/07/family-guide-to-florida-marchman-act.html

As we all sit back and watch the various layers of the U.S. war effort unfold, it is hard enough for us to conceptually grasp the level of loss and violent despair unfolding each minute for our troops in the middle east. Even for family members of soldiers, who risk their lives daily, they may have a different perspective on the madness, but nothing can or will ever compare to the horror each individual soldier experiences.

The reason I bring this up is to shed a little light on a situation we are all facing that is certain to explode like a hidden IED, tripped by an unsuspecting soldier. Four letters we’ve all heard before but you better be ready for since they are about to change the world we live in…PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a bomb being constructed in the middle east as you read this and will be triggered to explode gradually over the next 20 years. Believe me, if you think I’m being dramatic, watch the approaching explosion and think back to this post if you survive it.

Visit http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/fslist-ptsd-overview.asp for a peek at what we will all be faced with but when you’re reading this, remember that only recently has the the U.S. Military’s powers-that-be begun to recognize the the fact that PTSD exists…that is pathetic and unacceptable. While it is wonderful that it is finally being given credibility, the resources set aside for treatment is a pittance compared to what will be needed. Ironically, each returning veteran will have a ticking PTSD IED inside each one of them that can ‘go off’ at any second. Whether an acute PTSD reaction occurs on the street, at work, at school, at church or at home, you can bet your ass that if WE ALL aren’t equipped with a basic understanding of how to deal with it, we will be suffering as a society for generations to come.

Sadly, PTSD cannot be treated like other behavioral disorders and daily we hear reports of treatment facilities failing patients and their families on a daily basis by attempting to treat PTSD along with other behaviorally impaired patients…THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE!!!! These individuals and their families need specialized treatments with professionals specifically trained to deal with PTSD. Do the math, with the numbers of returning veterans, we are in for a shit-storm if we don’t get a handle on this thing and the government has its hands full.

That is why I’ve assembled a team at TSN, who has created a program called HEROES WELCOME. I will share more about the specifics in the next few weeks but in essence, we are assembling the best PTSD experts and centers on the planet and offering treatment for both the victim and their family. As a society and a field, we have a unique opportunity to learn from the past (Viet Nam) and truly help diffuse a generational bomb. This is not a bullshit sticker on a bumper, this is a way for us all to actually support our troops and save our own society.

This is the seed and you are all aware that TSN is growing a solution so don’t pretend you haven’t been informed. If you are interested in learning more or have something to offer, contact Jed Wallace for details since he will be coordinating the effort on my behalf. I encourage you to do some serious research and soul searching – be a part of HEROES WELCOME and do your part to support the veterans that have given their lives, limbs and personalities to protect our freedom…now it is our turn!

We certainly don’t want to live our lives as always suspicious or paranoid, but there are times when it would be helpful to know if someone we love has a problem with an addiction. Maybe then we’d be able to help them, or offer them support, or at least we could encourage them try to stay away from the drug or drink or activity that is causing the problem. The best thing to do if you have reason to believe someone is caught up in an addiction is to talk honestly with them and encourage them to seek professional help.  Below are four signs that a loved one may have an addiction.

Separation from close family and friends. Someone with an addiction will often become more reserved and avoid family and close friends. Part of the reason behind this is that they are embarrassed of the addiction, and they are afraid a loved one will be disappointed if they find out.

Dependence on a substance or activity. Someone with an addiction will not be able to go long without the substance. If you suspect a friend is an alcoholic because they are always talking about drinking, but they can go for days without a drink, they are not dependent on alcohol. They might very well have a problem with alcohol abuse, but not alcoholism yet. In the same way, anorexic and bulimic individuals cannot turn their disease on and off for a day any more than a drug addict can go more than a day without their drug. However, anyone that is abusing a substance like a drug or alcohol, or is experimenting with harmful activities needs help too. Addiction has to start somewhere, and it often begins when people are just “trying” the substance to see what it’s like. Getting help early, before an addiction has taken hold, is the best chance for recovery.

Loss of interest and focus. Addicts lose interest in things they used to care about. As the addiction takes over their life, nothing else will seem as important to them, including the basic necessities of life. In the same way, they will become irresponsible with things like family commitments or work, as they devote all their time and energy to the addiction.

Change in daily patterns. Addicts may show a change in eating and sleeping patterns. They know their addiction is wrong and hurting their lives and the lives of those close to them, but once the addiction has taken hold, it can’t easily be stopped. Sleepless nights, lack of desire to eat, and depression are all common results of many addictions.

Family members of addicts will often know that something is wrong with their loved one, but they might not always know what it is. While someone with an addiction problem may be able to hide their problem for some time, eventually those around them will start noticing the change. It is important for loved ones to take the time to confront them about an addiction, and offer to help them get professional help.

Sources

http://helpguide.org/mental/drug_substance_abuse_addiction_signs_effects_treatment.htm

http://www.theantidrug.com/pdfs/resources/teen-rx/CADCA_Strategizer52.pdf

http://www.news-medical.net/news/2004/04/07/354.aspx

Don’t we sometimes get tired of bad news? We often find ourselves getting frustrated when reading the newspaper, watching tv, or reading journals because statistics and news are often about negative things. Sometimes it is depressing to hear all the bad things going on in the world.

Sometimes what we need is a change in attitude. Maybe we need to stop dwelling on the bad things, and focus on all the good that is out there. Take for example, teen drug and alcohol abuse. We hear statistics about the increase in prescription drug abuse among teens, or the number of college students that drink, and we might feel like throwing our hands up and giving in. What we really need to do, however, is find the little positives, the good things kids are doing, the small victories.

The Perception of Peer Pressure

The majority of kids actually don’t do drugs. We can’t deny the fact that there are too many that do, but most kids don’t. When teens are under the impression that everyone else does drugs and everyone experiments with alcohol, the peer pressure just closes in on them, and it will seem like such a big task to them to stay away from it. Teens need to know that they aren’t alone in the struggle, that there are plenty of others feeling what they are feeling and working to stay away from drugs.

Positive Role Models

Kids really need role models as they grow up, and knowing that others have made it through the teenage years without trying drugs will help them a great deal. Older siblings, kids in higher classes, and even their own classmates can serve as role models. Parents should also be good role models for their kids. When parents show responsibility and healthy practices, their kids will pick up on that quickly. Parents should be involved with their kids’ lives, be supportive, and be prepared to initiate tough conversations about not getting involved with drugs or alcohol.

Positive Activities to Avoid Drug Abuse

Another thing parents can and should do is encourage their kids to get involved in positive activities. Teens are a very capable group of people, and parents should expect much more from them than to just hang out with friends and get in trouble. The teen years are a time for enlightening and education, and it is when people really get to know who they are. Parents should give their kids opportunities to get involved with different things, to develop those talents and interests. Don’t dread the teenage years as something you are lucky if you and your child survive. Open up the world for them, encourage their curiosity of things in the world and watch them do great things with their lives.

Sometimes when we expect the worst, that’s just what we get. We need to surround ourselves and our children with positive attitudes, positive influences, and positive expectations.

Sources

samhsa.gov

How Parents Can Prevent Teen Drinking

Working Youth Educate

The Anti Drug

A new study reported in the New York Times states that children receiving Medicaid are four times as likely to receive antipsychotic drugs as those from families with regular health insurance. This news has many people in the field of mental health wondering if these children are receiving the best care possible. The study was led by a team from Rutgers and Columbia and is scheduled to be published this year, but the news of it has already caused a stir.

Overmedicating

Many see these results as evidence that the system for treating poor youth suffering from mental illness or other disorders is failing. While middle or upper class children may receive family counseling and psychotherapy for their mental illness, those from poor families are just prescribed meds on the first visit and then sent on their way. Some doctors admit that it is easier to prescribe medications. Oftentimes, these kids are getting the prescriptions from their regular pediatrician that isn’t specialized in treating mental illness, because the wait is so long to see a psychiatrist. Many of these parents whose children are on Medicaid may not be willing or able to take their child to therapy sessions or work with them at home, which is another factor that may deter physicians from trying alternate approaches.

Poverty and Mental Illness

Some people argue that the number of children that have some form or mental illness from poor families is double that of children from middle class families. There are many reasons why kids from poor households may suffer a higher rate of mental illness. The stress of poverty, poorer schools, poorer preventative health care, single parents, and parents that are mentally ill themselves are all factors that many children on Medicaid face.

Still, this does not explain why this study shows that four times as many poor children are receiving the medications. The study also shows that children on Medicaid are in general not receiving much treatment for mental disorders other than the prescriptions. Therapy and counseling are also necessary, even with medications. And many of these Medicaid children are being put on antipsychotic medications for things like ADHD or persistent defiance disorder, things that are less serious and actually not proven to be managed by these kinds of drugs. And these medications sometimes come with a price. Side effects from taking these drugs include drastic weight gain and metabolic changes, things that will affect these kids for life.

Children from poor families need to be evaluated and given the same level of care as any other person. With disputes over what drugs should be covered by Medicaid going on around the country, large drug companies are showing they will do all they can to continue to get their medications out there. Doctors, however, need to make sure they always keep the best interest of the patients in mind.

Sources

When state evaluates drugs for mental health, drug makers play undisclosed role

Low Income Kids Prescribed Antipsychotic Drugs

Poor Children Likelier to Get Antipsychotics 

Children + Medicaid = More Antipsychotics

As parents, we want to protect our kids. We do all we can to keep them healthy, we talk to them about drugs and alcohol, and we encourage them to try hard and be all they can be. But for many parents, the realization that their child suffers from a mental illness can be devastating.

Hard to Diagnose

Many children and adolescents have been diagnosed with some form of mental illness in our country. Many more, however, go unnoticed. Children with mental illness often show symptoms such as irritability, aggression,and disobedience. Because of this, many children with mental illness are treated as if they had a behavior problem, which may or may not help the underlying problem.

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is the most commonly diagnosed mental disorder in children, but it is not the only one that affects young people. There is also generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder, depression, autism, and even schizophrenia. Left untreated, these disorders can get worse and lead to other mental illnesses.

Research on Mental Disorders

Research is still somewhat lacking in the field of childhood mental illness. We still don’t understand what causes these disorders, and most forms of treatment center on managing symptoms, rather than fixing the root of the problem. Education about mental disorders in children is also scarce, so that roughly half of adolescents with mental illness go undiagnosed. Parents are not educated about these disorders, and often the symptoms go unnoticed for what they really are. These kids are treated as rebellious, disobedient, or unruly, when they have little control of their outbursts and aggression.

Treatment

Treatment can be effective with many of these illnesses, especially if diagnosis occurs early. There are many success stories of children that were able to recover to a good point from mental disorders. Behavioral therapy, counseling, and a family approach to treatment are the most effective, although medication is sometimes also needed to keep things under control.

Mental Illness and Substance Abuse

If left untreated, however, mental illness in children can lead to a life of suffering. The mental illness will most likely get worse, and they may develop other disorders as well. Lack of function in society, depression, and suicide can be a result of untreated mental disorders. Finally, substance abuse can become a part of these kids’ futures, as they search for something that will help ease their mind. These children may never feel that they fit in and because their life is such a struggle, they may self-medicate with drugs or alcohol that take their cares away.

Scientists must continue to study childhood mental disorders and work with treatment professionals and parents to educate them on the latest research. One day, we hope to find more realistic cures to these disorders in order to help these children lead normal, healthy lives.

Sources

Reaching Children Who Live in a World of Their Own

Study links autism and schizophrenia

Nearly Half of America’s Youth Have Untreated Mental Illness

Once an alcoholic has taken steps to become sober and has received treatment for their disease, many think the hard work is over. While the act of getting someone to admit to a problem and start treatment is usually very difficult and emotional, the work is not completed simply because treatment has begun. Both the alcoholic and their family will most likely face years of difficult times when it comes to alcoholism.

Recovery for Life

Alcoholism is a disease that affects people for life. An alcoholic cannot get sober with treatment and then expect everything to be fine. There is always the temptation to drink. Most treatment professionals will stress that total abstinence from alcohol is important. Even with counseling and therapy, it is very difficult to not take a drink again, especially when alcohol has controlled someone’s life for so long. Recovering alcoholics will also struggle with family relationships. They may have had marriages that failed or were hanging on by a thread. Most likely, roles will change a bit as an alcoholic goes from typically out-of-control to a more passive role in the family. Recovering alcoholics may need to relearn how to function in society. If they were out of work because of their disease or out of touch with reality in general, this is something they need to reconnect with. Alcoholics Anonymous is a very helpful resource for recovering alcoholics, as they gain strength and knowledge from others going through the same thing.

Recovery for Family

Alcoholism is also a disease that affects the whole family. Children and spouses of alcoholics learn to tread carefully around them, or to ignore them when they get aggressive. Resentment is often a big part of family members’ feelings. Once the alcoholic in the family is sober, the family may want to breathe a sigh of relief, but sometimes things don’t go back to a normal way of life. Maybe the recovering alcoholic will become withdrawn and want to be left out of family functions. Maybe the alcoholic feels like their family is critical of them and this causes conflict. Maybe the recovering alcoholic’s personality itself seems to be different after going through recovery. Other family members of alcoholics have experienced all these concerns. Families can get help through Al-Anon and Alateen, which provide support to spouses and children of alcoholics.

It is important for both the recovering alcoholic and their family to get help. Family members can learn how to be encouraging rather than resentful, and the recovering alcoholic can learn how to reconnect with their family. Family togetherness and family therapy will help aid in sobriety.

Sources

Spouse’s Attitude Can Affect Alcoholic’s Relapse

The Female Partner of the Recovering Male Alcoholic

Al-Anon

No Intimate Relationships During the First Year of Sobriety!

There are times in each of our lives when it is hard to be thankful. Maybe a loved one has just died, or a friend is sick. Maybe finances are not what we had hoped, or we are feeling alone. Maybe substance abuse has caused hurt and frustration among us.

This is a time of year when we focus on being thankful, even when we don’t think we have much to be thankful for. Being grateful for what we do have is a healthy way to look at life, and it will help us be happier, healthier people.

Be Thankful for Recovery

People struggling with substance abuse might find it hard to be happy or thankful, but being thankful is a healthy approach to life. Be thankful that you are still alive, that you are able to think and move. Be thankful for any family members or friends that have stuck with you through it all. Be thankful for the health professionals waiting to help you, and for the hope that one day you will be free of this addiction. Sometimes discontentment will lead to a depression that needs to be treated. For many people, however, simply focusing on the good things of life and being thankful can do wonders for our attitude and life.

Be Thankful for Family

It might be hard for family members of addicts to be thankful. A loved one that has been hurt by a drug addict or an alcoholic may not be particularly thankful for that person. It is important to get help for your own feelings, while encouraging the family member to get help for their addiction. Individuals going through treatment for an addiction are more likely to succeed when they have the support of loved ones. Family is important in the recovery process. A family can choose (sometimes with a little help) to stand behind their loved one and to be thankful that they are getting help.

The road to recovery is never easy, and family members and loved ones should keep this in mind when feelings of anger or resentment creep up. Be thankful that your loved one accepted your help and is getting treatment. Be thankful that the person is still alive and there is hope for recovery. Most importantly, be thankful for the person they are deep down, and for the person they will be again one day.

A little thankfulness can go a long way. It can help fight off depression and anxiety, and it can help in the recovery of an addict. Sometimes, though, it might seem as if there is nothing to be thankful for. In those cases we might need to manufacture a little thankfulness. Go out and enjoy a long walk, and be thankful that you have the strength to do so. Enjoy a sunset and be thankful for the beauty. Become a volunteer for people that have real needs and be thankful that you are able to help. It might not solve all of our problems, but being thankful is helpful for overall health of body and mind.

Sources

Giving Thanks Helps Depression, Study 

‘Male depression more often gets undiagnosed’

Thankfulness: In tough times, it helps to build upon our best qualities

We know drug abuse is bad and we want everyone to get treatment so they can live a healthy, productive life. But people with drug and alcohol addictions cause problems in many other people’s lives as well as their own. A drunken father doesn’t always suffer in silence and leave his family alone. Quite often, he will commit crimes against his family, either physical or mental abuse of his wife or children. A man or woman high on drugs is likely to lash out at their partner, and many domestic crimes have been committed while one or both partners are high on drugs.

The Connection Between Drugs and Domestic Violence

While not all drug addicts and alcoholics are violent toward their partner or kids, almost 80% of domestic violence crimes have a connection to drugs. Therefore, a big part of the solution to domestic abuse is to address the underlying substance abuse. If we can identify substance abusers and get them help, we will also decrease domestic violence.

A person that abuses drugs or alcohol loses control of their lives. Judgment gets cloudy, rational thinking goes out the window, and what they know is wrong when they are sober doesn’t seem so bad then whey are high.

It happens like this: A person has been drinking again and stumbles home in a stupor. They just want to be left alone; they don’t want to cause trouble or hurt anyone again. But the minute they walk in the door, they are agitated because the alcohol has left them feeling irritable. Then, something sets them off – maybe it is a mess their kids left, or something their spouse said – and they lose control. Once they’ve hurt someone once or twice, it’s going to happen again. The bar has been lowered, and each reaction will be as bad, or worse, than the one before.

Domestic Violence Affects People for Life

We may think, what a terrible way for people to live, but domestic violence due to substance abuse happens to so many people, and it stays with them for the rest of their lives. Children that have witnessed domestic violence are often insecure and struggle with school, friends, and relationships as they get older. Partners that are abused often feel forced to stay in the relationship, constantly exposing themselves and possibly children to the abuse for months or years. Even the abusers are living a life they don’t want.

The obvious solution is to get help for those with substance addiction. But this is not so easy, especially when the abused partner feels silenced because of the violence. We need to educate people on the help that is out there for those being abused, as well as for the abuser, because with the right kind of help, these people can turn their lives around.

Overcrowded prisons lead to vicious cycle with war on drugs

Alcohol has big role in domestic violence

The Link Between Substance Abuse And Domestic Violence