There is not necessarily any rhyme or reason to it: some children become addicted to drugs and alcohol. While there are genetic and social factors that can increase or decrease the likelihood, the fact remains that both good and bad parents can wind up with an addicted son or daughter. Now, your child will most likely not simply come out and tell you that they are abusing drugs or alcohol, so here are a few signs that should warrant your attention:
- As stated above, genetics do play a factor, so be alert if your family has a history of abuse.
- Have you seen evidence of their abuse, i.e. empty liquor bottles, marijuana joints, or other drug paraphernalia? Children generally try very hard to hide these things, and if they are found easily, it could be a sign that they are losing control.
- Has your child been showing a drastic change in behavior? This could be a loss of interest in family activities, loss of appetite, change in friends, depression, irritability or defensiveness, or many other signs.
- Is your child having money problems but won’t talk about them?
- Has your child received a DUI, or has he or she been involved in shoplifting or theft?
- Do you notice any burn marks on their fingers or lips, needle tracks, or sores on their face and nose?
If you do notice some of the above things and suspect that there is a problem, be careful in your reaction. Harsh punishment or lectures to your child may simply drive them further to abuse. So what can you do about it?
- Resist yelling. Try to create a healthy, positive atmosphere in your house.
- You can’t control your child; you can, however, control yourself. Focus on that and your dealing with it, rather than forcing your child to change.
- Sit down and discuss the boundaries of the home with the child. Explain reasons for them and consequences for their actions if disobeyed.
- Get your son or daughter enrolled in a rehabilitation program and be patient. This does not happen overnight. You may not be the factor that produces change, but rather your child’s experiences with other recovering addicts. It will take time.
- Keep a hopeful, positive attitude, and have a sense of humor. Overstressing over the situation only leads to a hostile environment, which will not produce the change.
- Get help yourself: for co-dependents. You’re not alone, so it’s important to help yourself recover as well as your child. You may need family addiction treatment.
It can be frustrating. You may be ashamed, or resent your child for acting the way they have been. The important thing to understand is that there is hope, and things can turn around – it will just take some positive action and a little patience.
